I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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