Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
God I need to hump something, right now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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