due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
