the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
