I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
