I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize