i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
