while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize