i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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