I saw his package. It spoke to me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
