He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize
