I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
