Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
