So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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