It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
