people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
