In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize