I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
