Swine flu. Run for my life!
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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