summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
