WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
