And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
