we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
