I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
