Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
