They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize