I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
