I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize