I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
