Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
