Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
