Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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