I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize