After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
a search helicopter?!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
