You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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