I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
