It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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