i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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