I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize