You smell like stripper and shame
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
