I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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