Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize