so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize