i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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