Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
