Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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