Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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