god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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