I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
