Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize