i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
