just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
