youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my liver is dry heaving
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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