So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize