Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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