Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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