So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
