Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
